The Fault in Keeping Things Equal
I knew having many children would be a challenge. Yes, there are bad days but when they are good they are awesome. From the beginning I always strived to keep things equal between all of my children. I was meticulous at making sure that every child got an equal share. Everyone got the same out of toys, same amount of clothes and had the same opportunities. I found out quickly that trying to strive to keep things equal doesn’t always equate to being fair. Being equal just doesn’t work and here is why.
All of your kids are completely different individuals. They have different interests and different likes. While one child may love to participate in all the sports they can fit in a season another child may get overwhelmed by this and rather not load up their schedule. Sports may not even be their thing and rather focus of fine arts. Yes, you can try and give them all equal opportunities to participate in whatever they like, but you have to remember that if one kid enjoys one activity, it is not fair to make the others participate in the same activity.
Keeping things equal can lead to wasted money and overspending. Giving your kids opportunities to purse their interests equally can come at a high cost. One child may have a passion for doing more expensive sports such as hockey while another child’s interest lies in less costly activities. While you may try to keep it fair by letting them participate in equal amounts of activities, this can destroy your budget. It also can lead to wasted money by putting in your kids in the same number activities while one child would have been happy with just one activity and doesn’t engage in the others activities he or she feels forced to participate it.
No matter how you may try to keep things equal, children will fight. They may have the exact same toy but they will fight solely based on the principle of who saw that toy first, even though there is another one exactly like it right next to them. They will find any way to debate on how you may be showing more favor to one child in the hopes of getting something extra for themselves. It will always be some sort of battle and the earlier you recognize this, the better.
When everything is all said and done, the best you can do is to try and keep things fair and explain you’re rational. The world isn’t made to be split up equally between everyone and this is a lesson they are better off learning now. Different kids require different motivations in life. So don’t fret about keeping this equal. Strive to keep it fair.