Love & Relationships

12 Commandments Of Successful Lasting Happy Relationships

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True love is hard to find but even people who are truly in love know how harder it is to keep a relationship happy in the long run.

When it comes to creating successful relationships, you need certain critical traits in place. Traits not just merely “present,” but existing in a real and genuine way that emanates from each partner through their own want (not because someone is complaining). The moment “give and take” becomes forced, resentment and disconnection surface and your relationship suffers.

Below are the 12 commandments of successful lasting happy relationships:

  1. Acceptance

    Acceptance is one of the primary requirements of a long lasting relationship. If you don’t accept who your partner truly is, you’re going to have a hard time being with him or her — no matter how much you love him or her. This is why you should always celebrate your similarities and differences, doing this will help you accept your partner’s personality and literally everything about your partner.

  2. Honesty and trust

    These two traits are essential to keeping your relationship happy. Without these two, your relationship would crumble like dust in just a few months. Always tell the truth to your partner, no matter how hard it is — we are all imperfect and we make mistakes.

  3. Respect

    Many people confuse attention with respect. Attention is great, and it shows love, desire, connection, and passion. Respect is a deeper level of connection, where you value the person at an innate level, without the promise of reciprocation.

  4. Loyalty

    In today’s temporary relationship-driven society, loyalty has largely turned situational — meaning that many people have only become as loyal as their current wants, needs, desires, and opportunities. With acceptance, honesty, trust and respect in place, loyalty is largely automatic. If your partner feels attracted to someone else, experiences a level of disconnection, or has a change of heart— it is discussed—openly and honestly.

  5. Staying Present

    Physical presence is nothing compared to actually listening to your partner while being with him or her. Always show value in what your partner is doing and what he or she has to say. This is important to effective communication between partners.

  6. Affection and passion

    Everyone wants to feel loved, and sustaining physical connection is a big part of that. Whether together two months or 20 years, the little things like holding hands, shoulder touches, and sitting together make a very big difference. A healthy sex life is the extension of that affection, helping you and your partner maintain a connection level that is simultaneously physical, mental, and emotional.

  7. Humor

    Humor can go a long way in a relationship — everyone loves someone who can make him or her laugh. Whether it’s simply telling a joke, playfully teasing your partner, or enjoying a ridiculous conversation, humor builds a happy connection that transcends any individual or joint stress, and keeps you enjoying each other’s company.

  8. Effective Disagreements

    Arguments aren’t always bad, they actually help strengthen a relationship. You get to know more about your partner, what he or she likes, dislikes, wants, needs, etc. Talking through issues with active listening (meaning: not just waiting to explain your own views, but rather, really listening to their side/experience and then offering empathy — regardless if you agree or not), being patient, and not judging allows both of you to maintain your opinion/views on the matter and still connect with one another.

  9. Privacy

    Many couples ignore their partner’s privacy. No matter how much you’re close to one another, privacy is still a basic need and must be given or else you risk losing your partner’s affections. There are really times when your partner would like to be alone, spend time with his or her friends, and do whatever he or she likes during free time — giving this is a must!

  10. Maintaining your individuality

    A successful relationship is made up of two individuals. Your partner still has interest in things they like, whether you’re interested in them or not. Having your own lives outside the relationship not only contributes to each of you maintaining a sense of self-worth and self-esteem, but also gives you things, accomplishments, and interests to bring back to your relationship and share with your partner.

  11. Support and sharing

    Paying attention to your partner’s activities — as well as sharing your own — keeps couples connected on a day-to-day basis. Lending opinion and insight, or just a compassionate ear when things get tough makes all the difference. When you care about and respect your partner, you want to know what they’re doing and how you can help them achieve their goals — even if that means you see them less. Being invested in their lives is what contributes to you both people feeling valued.

  12. Consideration and gratitude

    You should always express your gratitude when your partner shows significant, or even little, amounts of effort. This will make your partner feel better and appreciated — this would then equal to happiness! Show consideration to and appreciation for your partner — just for being who they are. They, in turn, will feel grateful as well … and that’s a great cycle to be in.

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Claire Cervino is an attorney turned stay at home mom and blogger based in Atlanta, Georgia. She writes articles about motherhood, marriage, cooking, fashion, beauty at www.casualclaire.com. Claire earned her Bachelor of Arts in International Affairs at the University of Georgia and her Juris Doctorate from Georgia State University College of Law. Claire has one daughter who is one and is expecting a baby boy in January 2016. In her free time, Claire enjoys spending time with her husband and children, traveling, socializing, reading, and interacting with her readers.

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